I DON’T KNOW WHEN TO STOP – THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EXHAUSTION AND THE SUPERPOWER OF EXCESSES AT WORK

“Marcello, it’s as if I’m sinking into an unrelenting vortex of work and self-demand. In the beginning, it was pleasure, but now, with every flight I take, it has become a journey of torture. Hours of compulsion in a chair, a prison I built myself. The laptop screen that was my tool is now my only refuge, my ticket into a world of work, with no sense of when to shut down. I feel anguished, gripped by my personal issues of thinking I need to produce more and more, yet I realize I am slowly sinking.

Recently, a conversation with a fellow businessman left deep marks on me. He mentioned a mutual friend who had just lost his life after a massive heart attack following a catastrophic meeting at his company. Suddenly, I saw myself in a mirror, facing the truth I was avoiding. I, too, am losing touch with my own emotions, sacrificing my joy, my balance, my family, friends—while chasing unreachable goals.

There’s no rest for me; I don’t remember the last time I slept peacefully! I ignore the signs of exhaustion as if it were a battle I am determined to win. I stay up until the wee hours, like a prisoner who can’t escape his own cell. This difficulty in recognizing my limits has turned into a monster that devours me, and I am the helpless prey.

My life, at forty years old, is summed up in this duality that torments me. I remember an ultramarathon runner who underwent brain surgery to remove a tumor and lost her sense of time—the exhaustion vanished, and she kept running without knowing when to stop—. This is me! I feel like I’m also running, but in circles, without direction, without purpose. And in this whirlwind of self-imposition, I’ve lost myself, forgotten who I am.

It has reached a point where my superpower has become my biggest problem. I no longer know where one ends and the other begins. The line between my passion for work and self-sacrifice is blurred, and I am sinking amidst this confusion. Deep down, I feel agonizing pain, a sense of being broken, lost. The words echo in my mind, like a silent scream: I don’t know when to stop anymore!”

I Don’t Know When to Stop

This story is not only real but, believe me, not unlike so many others I witness in my daily life! In a constantly moving world, where the boundaries between personal and professional life often blur, we easily find ourselves losing touch: our complex ability to identify the subtle signs of exhaustion. It’s as if at some point in our career, we switch on a special power that allows us to dive intensely into tasks and goals, while simultaneously distancing ourselves from the reality of our own limits—where this becomes a dilemma that undermines our own physical and mental well-being.

It could even be said that the idea of always striving for improvement is the basis of this dilemma and that perhaps it can be explained as an evolutionary ability to persist even in the face of adversity. However, evolution probably did not prepare us for such an accelerated and unbridled modern life. What was once a survival quality now places us at a dangerous threshold between productivity and exhaustion. For neurosciences, this is quite obvious, after all, exhaustion is not just a subjective sensation but a complex chemical and physiological response.

For example, when we are stressed, anxious, or exhausted, our bodies go through a series of chemical reactions and physiological changes. Hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol can be released in high quantities, heart rate can increase, breathing can become faster and more shallow, and so on.

These responses are complex and involve interactions between different parts of the body, such as the nervous, hormonal, and immune systems, and the intense pressure and exhaustion that the body is subjected to show how the difficulty in recognizing the signs of exhaustion triggers a series of necessarily harmful internal changes.

That is why I can affirm that in the midst of this reality, the term “emotion” takes on a new meaning. Emotions are not merely shades resulting from colorful moments of life; they have deep roots in our chemistry as well as in our physiology. The story of my client who mentions the ultramarathon runner illustrates the impact of this phenomenon. The inability to perceive the signs of exhaustion is a peculiar emotion, a facet of our own defense against the reality we created for ourselves, which allows us, at times, to transcend normal limits. However, this same characteristic can put us in an exhausting work marathon, similar to the marathon runner, where the signs of psychological exhaustion are ignored in favor of alienating reasons that escape reality.

In this scenario, the resonance of pressures we are continuously bombarded with, whether economic, social, or even from our closest relationships, cannot be ignored. The post-contemporary society often celebrates the cult of relentless productivity, turning work-related disorders and illnesses into a badge of honor. The thin line between overcoming challenges and exhaustion is frequently crossed, leading to a true Russian roulette of chronic stress and fleeting moments of achievement.

The Lack of Awareness and Self-Reflection

However, awareness and self-reflection emerge as beacons of hope in this journey. Recognizing that exhaustion is a complex emotion that can lead to both success and failure, as well as an intersection between the physical and the psychological, is a vital step. Our ability to discern when it is time to slow down and allow for recovery can be the key to avoiding not only the deterioration of physical and emotional well-being but also to maintaining health instead of becoming physically and mentally ill.

The fact is that in a world where exhaustion is both a superpower and a challenge, self-reflection presents itself as a beacon of almost impossible-to-see discernment. The balance between the ability to persevere and the need for self-care is an act of lucidity, requiring constant self-awareness, which seems increasingly distant. Learning to honor our limits and recognizing the signs of exhaustion puts us on a path of self-esteem and self-care, where we can wisely harness the superpower of persistence while maintaining mental health.

Digital Influence

The complexity of not perceiving the signs of exhaustion finds deep roots in modern dynamics, being strongly influenced by societal pressures and social media demands. The inability to identify the limits of exhaustion often arises from a combination of psychosocial factors that characterize today’s world.

In the contemporary scenario, social media emerges as a powerful source of influence. Constant exposure to fantastical and unrealistic narratives of success, seemingly incessant productivity, and extraordinary achievements creates a subliminal pressure to always be active and at the peak. The need to alienate oneself to the endless flow of updates and keep up with the imperatives of mega-trends and standards imposed by digital platforms blinds us entirely to the perception of when it is time to slow down—the fear of being left behind, combined with the desire to fit into the idealized image on social media, often leads to ignoring the evident signs of exhaustion, bringing one to the edge of the abyss, ready to jump.

Furthermore, the demands of the corporate environment also play a central role. The culture of immediacy, of “doing more in less time,” of always being active, and the unhealthy need to feel useful permeate the professional and personal world, generating a constant feeling of always being below expectations.

Global competition and the relentless pursuit of recognition amplify the feeling that any pause is a concession to mediocrity, risking losing what one already has. This high-pressure environment not only makes it difficult to recognize one’s limits but also contributes to the normalization of exhaustion as an integral part of modern life.

From a Neuroscientific Perspective

The reward cycle provided by social media and the culture of productivity can reinforce the tendency to ignore these signs in pursuit of achievements and validation.

The very nature of remote work and continuous digital communications also plays a significant role. The boundary between work and personal life often dissolves, leading to a constant feeling of being “always on.” The absence of clear boundaries between work and rest moments makes it challenging to identify when it is appropriate to stop and recharge.

In this same sense, the difficulty in recognizing the signs of exhaustion becomes a constant battle. Virtual and real expectations intertwine, generating relentless pressure to maintain a frantic pace. However, awareness of these dynamics is the first step to facing this challenge. By understanding how social media, social pressures, and work demands intertwine to obscure the perception of exhaustion, we can adopt measures to establish healthy boundaries, embrace self-care, and thus find a more sustainable balance between the pursuit of achievements and personal well-being.

In the context of modern pressures, especially the demands and influence of social media, the brain often undergoes a series of adaptations and responses that can contribute to the difficulty in recognizing the signs of exhaustion.

Constant exposure to societal demands and social expectations can activate areas of the brain associated with stress, such as the amygdala. This triggers a “freeze, fight, or flight” response, leading to a constant sense of alertness and worry. This chronic stress response can alter brain functioning patterns, affecting the ability to tune into subtle signs of fatigue and exhaustion.

Social media, in turn, influences the release of dopamine in the brain, creating a reward cycle. The search for new messages, likes, comments, and online validation leads to an increased need for recognition and belonging, even when the body and mind are crying out for silence. This suppression of the perception of exhaustion occurs because the brain’s reward system is more focused on seeking approval and self-esteem than on recognizing real needs.

Moreover, constant exposure to screens and notifications can affect circadian rhythms. The blue light emitted by electronic devices disrupts the internal biological clock, impairing the perception of time and, of course, the quality of sleep. Consequently, cognitive function is negatively impacted, including the ability to accurately assess one’s levels of exhaustion.

These factors together contribute to a disconnection between sensations and reality; between the possible and the impossible; between lucidity and alienation; between usefulness and enslavement; between sanity and idiocy; between exhaustion and conscious self-perception. The brain, often overwhelmed by constant stimuli and chronic stress, becomes less sensitive to signs of fatigue, leading to psychological illnesses that are linked to numerous physical and mental disorders.

In short, the brain undergoes chemical transformations of adaptations and influences that make it difficult to perceive signs of exhaustion. The overload of stimuli, the stress response, and the pursuit of rewards for pleasure generate a disconnection between physical and mental states, making it challenging to recognize when it is time to stop and take care of oneself.

Therefore, the statement “the difficulty of recognizing the signs of exhaustion is at the same time a superpower and a problem” represents this intrinsic duality of the phenomenon called postmodernism. It reflects the complexity of the influences at play when it comes to the ability to perceive what is real and what is alienation.

Superpower

The difficulty in recognizing the signs of exhaustion can be seen as a superpower in certain contexts. This ability to keep functioning despite challenges and push limits can allow people to achieve remarkable accomplishments. Many advances in science, art, and other fields have been made by individuals who dedicated themselves tirelessly to their goals, seemingly ignoring signs of exhaustion. This tenacity can boost productivity and lead to extraordinary results, creating a sense of capability and achievement.

Our ability not to perceive signs of exhaustion is an intriguing and multifaceted aspect of human nature. In a world that exalts constant productivity and where social media intensifies the desire for validation and success, this ability gains relevance. This “superpower” has the potential to generate extraordinary achievements but also brings with it a series of challenges and risks that can profoundly impact our health and well-being.

When addressing the positive consequences, it is undeniable that individuals with this ability often achieve remarkable feats. The capacity to maintain intense focus on specific goals, even when signs of exhaustion appear, can result in scientific advances, impactful artistic creations, and innovative solutions to complex challenges. These individuals can persist beyond perceived limitations, offering inspiring examples of determination and resilience.

Additionally, this superpower often manifests as a “burst” of productivity in critical moments. Under the pressure of tight deadlines or challenging circumstances, the ability not to recognize signs of fatigue allows individuals to dive into their work with unwavering focus. This can result in remarkable outcomes in short periods, providing a sense of accomplishment and confidence.

Problem

The problem begins when the inability to recognize signs of exhaustion also becomes a significant issue. Chronic exhaustion and prolonged stress have adverse consequences for physical and mental health. Lack of adequate rest can lead to a decline in cognitive performance, collapse, and affect all vital systems such as nervous, immune, circulatory, and digestive, in addition to contributing to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and even suicide. Moreover, the relentless pursuit of pushing one’s limits often leads to an imbalance between work and personal life. The difficulty in disconnecting and relaxing can destroy families, harm relationships, cause social isolation, and affect overall quality of life. The obsession with constant productivity can deprive individuals of moments of leisure, contemplation, and interpersonal connection.

Additionally, this relentless pursuit of results often diminishes long-term efficiency. An overworked mind and body can lead to hasty decisions, mistakes, and decreased concentration. The quality of work may suffer when chronic exhaustion begins to affect mental clarity and the ability to make informed decisions — resulting in errors, poor work quality, and impulsive decisions that can have disastrous consequences.

As already mentioned, in a world characterized by relentless pressures, the ability not to notice signs of exhaustion can generate a series of negative consequences that often go unnoticed. At first glance, this “superpower” may seem like an advantage, allowing people to persist beyond their limits and achieve remarkable goals. However, a deeper analysis reveals a more complex and worrisome picture.

The difficulty in disconnecting from the frenetic work routine can damage relationships, affect emotional well-being, and generate feelings of isolation. The inability to engage in relaxing and enjoyable activities often leads to an unbalanced and unsatisfactory life.

Fundamental Pillars

The preservation of health is one of the fundamental pillars underlying the importance of knowing one’s limits. The human body is not an inexhaustible machine; it requires recovery time and rest to function optimally. Ignoring signs of exhaustion can lead to chronic overload, resulting in a wide range of health problems, from sleep disorders and anxiety to cardiovascular complications. Awareness of one’s limits allows people to avoid these harmful pitfalls, protecting their physical and mental health.

Furthermore, the quality of work is profoundly affected by the ability to recognize when it is time to stop. Chronic exhaustion diminishes mental clarity, concentration, and the ability to make informed decisions. The relentless pursuit of productivity can lead to errors, rework, and a drop in efficiency, undermining work quality and damaging professional reputation. By establishing healthy limits and allowing themselves moments of pause, individuals can ensure that the work performed is consistent, well-thought-out, and of high standard.

Emotional well-being is another domain deeply impacted by the ability to recognize one’s limits. Chronic exhaustion often translates into feelings of irritability, frustration, and anxiety. The continuous effort to push beyond one’s limits can result in a self-destructive cycle of emotional denial, where emotions are repressed in favor of productivity. By granting oneself permission to rest and recharge, emotions can be processed healthily, promoting a more balanced and positive emotional state.

In the context of work-life balance, the ability to know one’s limits plays a crucial role. The postmodern world often lends a constant sense of urgency to professional activities, resulting in a disproportionate amount of time dedicated to work and insufficient pauses for leisure and relationships. Setting limits is essential to avoid relationship breakdown, maintain social connection, and ensure that moments of relaxation are valued and fully enjoyed.

How can we change this dynamic? How can we deactivate this “superpower” of excess and regain balance?

The answer begins with awareness and acceptance that we are not machines, but human beings with physical and emotional limitations. Recognizing that our health and well-being are fundamental and should not be sacrificed in the name of productivity. This requires a mindset shift, both individually and culturally.

We must learn to set healthy boundaries for work and personal life and respect those limits. This may involve establishing strict work hours and completely disconnecting when the workday is over. It also means allowing ourselves moments of rest without feeling guilty or anxious about not constantly “doing something.” Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for maintaining our physical and mental health.

Regular practice of stress management techniques, such as meditation, yoga, physical exercise, and deep breathing, can also be extremely beneficial. These techniques not only help reduce acute stress but also strengthen our resilience to chronic stress. Additionally, seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can provide a safe space to share our concerns and obtain guidance on how to deal with exhaustion.

In addition to those mentioned, in the process of cognitive-behavioral development, there are various exercises to restore mental health. These are psychobehavioral activities that you can use daily to find your optimal balance, avoiding both underproductivity and exhaustion. Here are some approaches you can take:

• Self-Knowledge and Self-Assessment: Starting with a comprehensive self-assessment is crucial. This includes identifying personal values, long-term goals, emotional and physical needs, as well as current work and rest patterns. This helps the individual understand their priorities and establish a solid foundation for finding the ideal balance.

• Setting Sustainable Goals: Work with the individual to set goals that are realistic and sustainable. Define specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals (SMART method). This helps avoid overloading with unattainable expectations and maintain a healthier pace.

• Pomodoro Technique and Regular Breaks: Get used to the Pomodoro technique, which involves working for 25 minutes and then taking a 5-minute break. These regular breaks allow the mind to rest, increasing productivity and reducing burnout. Gradually increase the work time and adjust the breaks according to the individual’s comfort.

• Task and Emotion Diary: Ask the person to keep a diary of their daily tasks, as well as the emotions associated with each task. This helps identify energy patterns, moments of peak focus, and times when exhaustion begins to build up. With this awareness, the person can adjust their schedule accordingly.

• Mindfulness and Relaxation Practice: Introduce mindfulness techniques and relaxation practices, such as meditation and conscious breathing. These practices help the person reconnect with the present moment, reduce stress, and increase awareness of their own needs.

• Setting Clear Boundaries: Help the person set clear boundaries between work and personal life. This can include turning off notifications after a certain time, establishing a dedicated workspace, and setting specific times to disconnect from work.

• Periodic Reassessment: Encourage the person to regularly reassess their approach to work and rest. Life is dynamic, and circumstances change, so it’s important to adjust strategies as needed to maintain balance.

• Gratitude Practice and Celebrating Achievements: Encourage the person to practice gratitude and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. This helps cultivate a positive mindset, reduce stress, and maintain motivation towards goals.

Never forget that flexibility also emerges as a key principle. Life is dynamic, and circumstances change. What may be a healthy balance today may not be the same tomorrow. Therefore, regularly reassessing the balance and adjusting strategies is essential to maintaining harmony between work and rest.

It’s essential to remember that the pursuit of balance is not a final goal to be achieved but an ongoing process. As we advance in our careers and personal lives, we will constantly face challenges that test our ability to maintain this balance. The important thing is to be aware of these challenges and be willing to make the necessary adjustments to prioritize our well-being.

In summary, recognizing the signs of exhaustion and challenging the mindset that productivity is more important than our health are the first steps to deactivate the “superpower” of excesses. We must embrace our humanity, establish healthy boundaries, practice self-care, and seek support when needed. Only through these actions can we redefine our relationship with work, find the much-needed balance, and live healthier and more fulfilling lives.

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Hello, I’m Marcello de Souza! I started my career in 1997 as a leader and manager in a large company in the IT and Telecommunications market. Since then, I have participated in important projects of structuring, implementation, and optimization of telecommunications networks in Brazil. Restless and passionate about behavioral and social psychology. In 2008, I decided to delve into the universe of the human mind.

Since then, I have become a professional passionate about deciphering the secrets of human behavior and catalyzing positive changes in individuals and organizations. Doctor in Social Psychology, with over 25 years of experience in Cognitive Behavioral and Human Organizational Development. With a wide-ranging career, I highlight my role as:

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