THE JOURNEY OF EXECUTIVE PRESENCE IN LEADERSHIP (Navigating the Common Pitfalls in Leadership Skill Development)

Executive presence is not a superficial skill acquired through quick techniques or stage tricks. In reality, it is a combination of interconnected competencies, from authentic communication to the ability to make decisions with clarity and confidence. In my work with leaders, I see that many fall into the trap of thinking executive presence is merely about posture or rehearsed performance. The truth is, it arises from the alignment between the leader’s internal vision and the way they communicate, interact, and influence their team.

When executive presence is absent or underdeveloped, leaders with great technical competence may feel as though they are swimming against the current. Although they may be producing excellent results, their ability to inspire and generate genuine trust within the team remains distant. Many become frustrated with the lack of connection and impact, but fail to realize that the root of the problem lies in the absence of this solid and authentic presence.

One of the most common pitfalls in leadership development is believing that ready-made tools and methodologies will be enough to transform a leader’s behavior. The reality is that effective Cognitive Behavioral Development (CBD) goes beyond teaching management or communication techniques. It requires a journey of self-discovery, where the leader needs to reconnect with their essence and develop an authentic, respectful presence that is capable of generating trust.

Another important point I observe is that many leaders, in their quest to improve their leadership skills, fall into the temptation of quick solutions. The search for ready-made methods to solve complex communication and relationship issues within the team often overlooks the deep-rooted causes of the disconnection between leader and team.

Furthermore, the excessive focus on technical competencies and process management, at the expense of developing emotional and behavioral competencies, is a recurring challenge. In a corporate world where immediate results are often the priority, it is easy to overlook the importance of cultivating emotional intelligence and self-awareness—key elements in building effective executive presence.

Today, in this article, we will address these issues in the practical context of Cognitive Behavioral Development (CBD), exploring how the journey of executive presence can be transformed, leading the leader to become a true Leader Coach through a deep and authentic approach, essential for leaders seeking sustainable growth.

The Transformation Journey: From Technique to Authentic Presence

A few months ago, I completed a cognitive-behavioral development process with a client who was seeking this exact type of transformation. During the process, my client, whom I will call Roberto, began his change when he recognized that his technical ability and vast experience would not be enough to reach the level of leadership he desired. He realized that he needed to integrate his strategic vision with a presence that reflected not only authority but also empathy, active listening, and an authentic posture of vulnerability.

Roberto’s development of executive presence took place through a combination of self-awareness, continuous feedback, and alignment between his personal vision and the way he communicated with his team. Throughout this process, he began to see that his leadership needed to be something more fluid and adaptable, more connected to the team’s needs and the moment of each interaction. It was no longer about being seen as an imposing leader but being understood as a genuine and accessible leader.

Next, I will highlight the main topics we worked on, so that you can understand the complexity and, at the same time, the beauty of a development process that forms a true Leader Coach through executive presence:

1. THE ADDICTION TO QUICK SOLUTIONS: THE DANGER OF INSTANT ANSWERS

When we begin a Cognitive Behavioral Development (CBD) process focused on leadership, the goal is to promote true transformation. One of the biggest challenges we face is breaking free from the expectation of quick results. We live in a society where the search for instant solutions is the norm. However, CBD should not be seen as a magic formula that solves all problems at once. Leadership development is a continuous and intricate process that requires deep reflection, self-discovery, and, above all, patience.

It is essential for the leader to understand that true transformation does not occur at the fast pace of the market or external pressures. The journey that CBD proposes begins with self-awareness, where self-consciousness becomes the foundation for any meaningful change. Often, failure occurs when we try to speed up this process, wishing for superficial changes without genuine internal immersion.

The maxim of Socrates, “Know thyself,” directly applies to the cognitive-behavioral development process. Without a genuine introspective journey, without understanding who we are, we cannot expect external changes to be lasting. In my practice, I’ve seen leaders who, after attending workshops or a session or two of coaching, returned to their work environments expecting immediate changes. This often leads to frustration, as real impact is only achieved through a structured and reflective process over time.

I remember a specific client, Roberto, a director at a multinational company, who initially sought coaching with the great expectation of a quick transformation. He believed that simply having a set of “techniques” would improve his relationship with his team and the company’s results. In the early sessions, we began working on his self-awareness, reflecting on his personal motivations and how these impacted his leadership decisions.

A Challenging Process

It was a challenging process because Roberto insisted on quick and ready-made answers. I remember that several times, during our sessions, he would bring excerpts from self-help books written by “pseudo gurus,” thinking that those magical solutions were what he needed to include in his process. However, as we progressed, he began to understand that real change would only occur when he truly started reflecting deeply on his own beliefs, failures, and behavior patterns. The transformation started from the inside out.

I remember a specific moment when he eagerly shared his discoveries: “Now I see that to change my leadership, I first needed to understand my own personal journey.” This was the moment of greatest clarity for him. He understood that true transformation as a leader would not be achieved through quick tricks or one-time changes but through an internal, gradual, and reflective transformation.

Executive presence, essential for a Leader Coach, is the foundation of genuine and lasting development. A common mistake in leadership processes is to treat it only as a tool to improve the leader’s “image” without addressing the limiting patterns that prevent real growth. Without an authentic and solid presence, changes will be superficial. True development requires deep self-awareness and trust, and this transformation occurs organically, with patience and time, ensuring lasting results.

2. THE CONFLICT BETWEEN ACTION AND REFLECTION: FINDING BALANCE

In Cognitive Behavioral Development (CBD) focused on leadership, one of the greatest challenges is the delicate balance between action and reflection. High-level leaders face constant pressure to make quick and effective decisions, often in highly complex scenarios. However, the frenetic pace of the corporate environment can generate an internal dilemma: act immediately or pause to reflect strategically? Often, the urgency of decisions ends up overshadowing the importance of reflection – an essential process for conscious decisions aligned with long-term goals.

The true power of leadership lies not only in knowing what to do but in understanding the “why” behind each action. How does it resonate with the teams, the processes, and, more deeply, with the organizational culture? Finding this balance between acting and reflecting is the key to effective and conscious leadership that goes beyond immediacy and aligns with deeper values and goals.

In this sense, it is worth exploring a bit of neuroscience, which always has something to teach us. Neuroscience has shown that the quality of decision-making is closely linked to our emotions and situational feelings. Our emotions act as a radar, indicating how the world around us is affecting our choices. When we are emotionally unbalanced, we tend to make impulsive decisions without adequate reflection. Automatic reactions, lacking analysis, can lead us to unbalanced choices, compromising the quality of decisions, especially in critical situations.

On the other hand, integrating reflection with action allows our emotions to be processed consciously, making our choices more balanced and effective. There is a vital space between the stimulus and our response – this “temporal space” is where our freedom of choice resides. And it is precisely in this space that executive presence strengthens, allowing the leader to make decisions not only based on logic but also considering the emotional and strategic impact of each action.

The Strategic Pause: Cultivating the Power of Reflection

In practice, this means that leadership is not just about quick and reactive decisions. On the contrary, a truly effective leader understands that each choice brings consequences, not only immediate but also medium- and long-term. This requires a robust inner presence, which allows the leader to step away from immediacy and embrace a moment of reflection before making important decisions. Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, teaches us that “the mind cannot be tuned into a state of presence if it is dominated by haste and the need for quick results.” The strategic pause, therefore, is not a luxury but a fundamental necessity for a leader who seeks to make decisions aligned with organizational values and the needs of the team.

The Impact of the Pause on the Decision-Making Process

In my work with high-level leaders, I often observe how the lack of reflection always tends to lead to hasty decisions made under pressure. The brain, overwhelmed by stimuli, opts for quick and reactive responses. However, by encouraging my clients to take a strategic pause – to reflect on the impact of their actions and the broader scenario – we can reverse impulsive decisions and transform them into more thoughtful choices aligned with long-term goals.

I remember an executive from a large telecommunications company who, constantly pressured by clients and senior management, would make quick decisions without considering the long-term consequences. Despite his immediate results, the side effects were negative: frustration within the teams and strategic disconnections. During the coaching process, we began implementing simple practices, such as using the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize his daily tasks and the Pomodoro Technique, which helped him set specific moments throughout the day for reflection before making important decisions.

The transformation was remarkable. By allowing himself to reflect, his decisions began to align more with the company’s values and the needs of the team. In one of our sessions, he eagerly shared: “The pause allowed me to understand that, sometimes, the best action is simply not to act immediately.” This moment of clarity was revealing: he understood that the strategic pause is not a sign of indecision but a powerful tool to lead with purpose and a long-term vision.

Cognitive Behavioral Development should, therefore, be viewed as a “pause” experience within the bustle of the corporate world. It is not an interruption or procrastination but an intentional and structured process that cultivates more conscious and effective leadership. The strategic pause, far from being a weakness, has become one of the most powerful tools for leaders seeking to act with purpose, promoting sustainable results for both teams and organizations.

By integrating action and reflection in a balanced way, leaders become more authentic and effective. They are no longer at the mercy of haste and urgency but rather captains of their own journey, guiding their teams with clarity, empathy, and strategic vision, which are the foundation of executive presence. The true impact of executive leadership occurs when decisions are made with the awareness that each action has repercussions not only in the present but also in the future of the organizations and the people who comprise them.

3. FEAR OF BEING VULNERABLE: EMBRACING THE IMPERFECTION OF THE LEADER

Here’s one of the issues I always strive to highlight in processes like this. Vulnerability is perhaps one of the most powerful tools, and at the same time, one of the most neglected in the leadership development journey. Throughout my years of working with leaders, especially those in high-command positions, I’ve noticed that the fear of being vulnerable is a constant and often invisible barrier. There is an ingrained belief that a leader must be infallible – immune to failure and mistakes, to not knowing everything or experiencing negative emotions. The pressure to maintain an image of invincibility, especially in corporate cultures that prioritize quick results and constant performance, makes this vulnerability almost undesirable. However, vulnerability is not about winning or losing; it’s about having the courage to show up and be seen when we cannot control the outcome. In other words, vulnerability is the practical application of relational ethics.

That’s why I insist on saying that true leadership does not emerge from perfection or unshakable strength. It is born from the ability to demonstrate vulnerability and authenticity. When leaders allow themselves to be imperfect, they are practicing executive presence in its essence, becoming more approachable, more human, which strengthens their connection with the team and creates a more collaborative and healthy environment. I want to emphasize once again, to avoid any doubts, that vulnerability is not weakness, but a form of courage that requires the leader to show their true essence, without masks. This transparency, instead of weakening, creates a collaborative space where trust and communication flow genuinely.

Therefore, vulnerability allows leaders to establish a culture of trust. By admitting their failures and acknowledging that they do not have all the answers, leaders create a safe environment where team members feel comfortable being vulnerable too. When a leader is transparent about their limitations, they give permission for others to do the same. Patrick Lencioni, in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, argues that “Trust is the foundation of the team. Without trust, there is no cohesion or innovation.” Vulnerability, therefore, is the starting point for cultivating that trust, and with it, true collaboration.

Neuroscience also teaches us that vulnerability has a positive impact on the brain, particularly when it comes to building bonds and fostering a collaborative culture. When a leader allows themselves to be vulnerable, they activate a positive emotional circuit in the people around them. The ability to recognize and manage our emotions is essential for effective leadership. When a leader opens up emotionally, they not only strengthen their own sense of trust but also release oxytocin, the “love and trust hormone,” which promotes empathy and strengthens bonds within the team. This is not just a cultural shift; it is a biological change that directly impacts the team’s performance.

The fact is that, contrary to the idea that vulnerability is linked to weakness, leaders who embrace their imperfections, instead of hiding their flaws, demonstrate a form of self-confidence that is deeper and more resilient. This confidence does not come from the illusion of perfection but from a clear understanding of their core values. When the leader has clarity about their values and purpose, they can be vulnerable without fear of being judged or losing authority. Simon Sinek, in Leaders Eat Last, reminds us that effective leaders are aligned with their “why,” which allows them to demonstrate courage and vulnerability without compromising their effectiveness. By focusing on what truly matters – the greater good of the organization and its people – the leader becomes more confident in their actions, opening the space for vulnerability as a leadership resource.

Let me give an example from a process with my client, David. He was widely recognized for his exceptional technical competence, always delivering quick and efficient results, especially in complex production and logistics issues. However, this competence, which should have been a unifying factor, ended up creating a barrier with his team. His constant focus on being the ‘problem solver’ and his reluctance to expose his own insecurities made the team feel disconnected and overwhelmed. They saw David as untouchable, with little openness to discuss failures or difficulties, which resulted in a lack of trust and a work environment where mistakes were hidden rather than discussed openly. Despite being a likable person and well-liked within the company, in performance evaluations, he frequently faced criticism for his lack of empathy and communication with the team, which felt uncomfortable with his infallibility posture.

During a Cognitive Behavioral Coaching (CBC) process, we worked on building his self-confidence and the need to embrace vulnerability as a leadership tool. As a result, in a critical meeting with his team, David did something unexpected: he shared his own difficulties regarding a complex project and admitted that he didn’t have all the answers. “I’m the first to say I don’t always know what to do. But together, I believe we can find the best solution,” he said. This simple act of vulnerability had an immediate impact.

With the continued practice of his executive presence, from that day on, the team, which had previously felt repressed and insecure, began to open up. They shared their own challenges, and instead of hiding flaws, they started seeing David as someone present, belonging, as a true Leader Coach, because he made a point of showing that he was willing to learn and evolve with them. This not only strengthened the trust between him and his team, but also generated more effective collaboration, where everyone felt part of the problem-solving process.

David’s transformation by adopting vulnerability had a direct impact not only on the team’s dynamic but also on the company’s results. With his new posture, the team felt more comfortable exposing their difficulties and collaborating openly. In just three months after his change in approach, the company informed me that the team’s productivity had increased, and innovation indices in production solutions grew significantly. More importantly, the organizational climate improved dramatically, reflected in internal satisfaction surveys, which, six months later, indicated a 40% increase in trust among team members. The impact was clear: by creating a safe space for vulnerability, David not only improved his relationship with his team but also boosted collective performance and innovation within the company.

Executive presence does not reside in perfection, but in the courage to be vulnerable and authentic. Vulnerability is the path to courage, and courage is the path to trust. By embracing their failures, leaders not only strengthen their own leadership but also cultivate a culture of trust, collaboration, and innovation within their organizations. Therefore, vulnerability is not an obstacle for the leader; it is the starting point for a Leader Coach, capable of building more cohesive and resilient organizations.

4. THE TRAP OF “I KNOW IT ALL”: THE LACK OF ACTIVE LISTENING

As I have said before, the contemporary corporate landscape, the pressure for quick results, insecurity, and the constant demand for immediate solutions are prevalent, and it is no coincidence that I keep seeing leaders falling into the silent trap of “I Know It All.” This behavior, often fueled by the need to demonstrate control and competence, creates an invisible barrier to progress. The leader who adopts this posture not only disconnects from their team but also limits their own growth and the collective potential of the group.

The belief that one already has all the answers, although seemingly practical and efficient, restricts not only the capacity for learning but also a deep understanding of human dynamics in the workplace. As Peter Senge wisely states: “Organizational learning begins when we recognize that what we know is limited, and true strength lies in the ability to learn together.” In other words, it is by allowing oneself to recognize the fragility of their own knowledge that true evolution can happen.

In my experience, working with leaders, I often notice how this belief in intellectual self-sufficiency blinds them to the fact that human interactions and genuine communication are essential for organizational success. While technical knowledge is essential, what truly distinguishes an exceptional leader is their ability to establish authentic connections with the team, promoting an environment of mutual and continuous learning.

This is where the fundamental concept of executive presence through active listening comes into play: a practice that goes far beyond simply hearing what is said. It is about being fully present in the moment, perceiving the nuances of the conversation — both what is said and what is left unsaid, what is not verbalized. Active listening requires curiosity, empathy, and the willingness to listen without preconceived judgments. It only exists when authentic dialogue is established. As humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers states: “The ability to listen to the other is the foundation of all successful human relationships.”

This type of listening allows the leader to understand unspoken needs, identify problems before they become obstacles, and, above all, build an environment of mutual trust. Active listening is not a technique, but an essentially human skill that validates the other, creating a safe space where ideas flourish, and conflicts are addressed with empathy and understanding.

The “I-You-We” Principle and Connected Leadership

To understand more deeply the essence of active listening and its impact on leadership, it is crucial to reflect on the “I-You-We” principle, an essential concept for building connected and collaborative leadership. In this principle, the leader is not seen as an isolated or infallible figure but as part of a collective co-creation process. The “I” and the “You” symbolize genuine and respectful connections, forming the foundation for the “We,” a collective that goes beyond individual interests, directed toward the common good. In an organizational environment that seeks a healthy climate, it is impossible to separate or imbalance the “I,” “You,” and “We.” They are intrinsically interconnected, and this harmony is crucial for the development of a culture of collaboration, trust, and mutual growth.

This principle transforms the dynamic between leader and team because it recognizes that true leadership occurs through mutual collaboration, where ideas are shared, challenges are faced together, and victories are celebrated as collective achievements.

Recently, I worked with a highly competent technical manager who was struggling to establish a genuine connection with his team. Although his decisions were technically flawless, he made decisions in isolation, rejected feedback, and showed resistance to listening to his team members. This harmed the trust environment and prevented the development of a collaborative space.

Throughout the process of developing his executive presence, we worked on the importance of active listening and applying the “I-You-We” principle. We introduced practices of genuine feedback and activities to strengthen empathy. One of the key moments of transformation occurred when he began to actively listen to employees at lower hierarchical levels. This simple act of listening attentively and with empathy had a transformative effect: the team felt more respected and began to collaborate with more engagement.

As a result, not only was trust restored, but the work environment became more harmonious and productive. The transformation of this leader was a clear reflection of the impact of active listening combined with an inclusive and collaborative leadership posture.

The “I Know It All” trap is not only an intellectual posture but a reflection of disconnected and isolated leadership that negatively impacts executive presence. To overcome it, the leader needs to cultivate the humility to recognize that true leadership is a journey of constant learning. By incorporating active listening practices and applying principles like “I-You-We,” the leader discovers that true strength does not come from absolute authority but from collaboration and the sharing of knowledge.

When the leader understands that leadership is not a solitary pursuit of results but a collective process of co-building, they expand not only their individual impact but also strengthen the team and transform the organization into a space of continuous evolution. In that moment, they are a true Leader Coach. True leadership emerges when the leader and the team understand the importance of a cohesive “We,” sharing ideas, challenges, and victories in a cycle of mutual learning.

5. RESISTANCE TO CHANGE: TRANSFORMING DEEPLY ROOTED BEHAVIOR

Resistance to change is like an invisible gravitational force: silent, but profoundly powerful. In the context of leadership, this resistance often manifests as a deep attachment to beliefs, values, and habits that have been built over the course of one’s professional journey. These patterns, while they may offer stability in times of uncertainty, often become barriers to innovation and growth — both for the leader and their team.

However, as you may have already understood, in today’s dynamic world, where speed and adaptability are essential, leadership requires much more than technical or methodological skills; it also requires executive presence. This quality — the ability to inspire trust, communicate clearly, and positively influence others — is often undermined by deeply ingrained behaviors that create dissonance between the leader and their team. It is also true that when a leader is unable to embrace change, they unconsciously transmit insecurity and rigidity to the group. Inflexibility in this context generates stagnant organizational environments, where the potential for collaboration and innovation is suppressed by the maintenance of outdated standards.

Reframing In Cognitive Behavioral Development (CBD), reframing limiting beliefs is essential to unlocking leadership potential. The first step is helping the leader identify and understand the behaviors and thoughts that sustain their resistance. Often, beliefs such as “I’ve always done it this way, and it’s worked until now” or “If I change my approach, I’ll lose the respect of my team” are the foundation of this rigidity. The reframing process, however, does not simply aim to discard these beliefs but to question them reflectively. Simple questions like:

• “What results could you achieve if you tried something new?”
• “How do your values connect with this belief?”
• “What does your team perceive about this posture, and how does it affect your leadership?”

These questions lead the leader to realize that true power lies not in maintaining absolute control but in demonstrating flexibility, empathy, and openness to continuous learning. This understanding is the starting point for the leader to not only reframe their patterns but also expand their executive presence.

The Role of Executive Presence in Transformational Leadership

Executive presence is, in essence, the ability to align posture, communication, and actions with clear values and goals, creating a genuine connection with the team and stakeholders. Leaders who resist change often miss the opportunity to demonstrate this quality because they project insecurity by prioritizing old standards instead of adopting a more adaptive and visionary stance.

When a leader embraces change, their executive presence becomes a tool for transformation. They demonstrate courage, vision, and an inspiring ability to adapt to new scenarios. This posture is contagious: teams led by someone with strong executive presence feel more engaged, confident, and willing to follow the leader in challenges.

From Resistance to the Role of Leader Coach

The transition from a leader resistant to change to a Leader Coach is a transformational milestone. A resistant leader often focuses their energy on maintaining control, while a Leader Coach channels their energy into collective growth. This transformation inevitably involves expanding executive presence.

Being a Leader Coach means creating an environment where people feel heard, respected, and empowered to contribute. This requires letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing practices such as:

• Active listening.
• Strategic delegation, seen as a sign of trust, not weakness.
• Creating psychological safety, allowing employees to feel comfortable taking risks and innovating.

A practical example was the case of a senior manager from a multinational company who resisted adopting agile methodologies, fearing that this would weaken leadership. During the CBD process, we explored how this resistance was rooted in the belief that “a leader must always have power and all the answers.” Over time, she allowed herself to study agile methodologies, began participating in groups, and thus gradually broke down her resistance. She reframed this idea, realizing that her strength as a true manager lay in being a facilitator, not a centralized problem-solver.

The adoption of agile methodologies not only increased the team’s efficiency but also transformed how her leadership was perceived: more accessible, collaborative, and inspiring. This transition symbolized her advancement to the role of Leader Coach, a leadership style that balances executive presence with human connection.

The Neuroscience of Transformation

Significant behavioral changes, such as moving from a resistant leader to a Leader Coach, are supported by neuroscience. Our brain is biologically programmed to facilitate our daily lives by maintaining patterns that we subjectively believe are working, prioritizing ease and speed to save time and avoid risks. This resistance is anchored in the limbic system, which is responsible for our emotional responses.

On the other hand, through “temporal space,” the prefrontal cortex — the region of the brain associated with critical thinking and conscious decision-making — can be activated through intentional practices. By adopting new behaviors, the leader begins a process of forming new neural pathways, transforming the initial discomfort into a new behavioral pattern more aligned with their leadership goals.

From Technical Leader to Inspirational Leader

When properly addressed, resistance to change ceases to be a barrier and becomes an opportunity for growth. As previously seen, in Cognitive Behavioral Development (CBD), this transformation is supported by practices such as the reframing of beliefs, cultivating psychological safety, and strengthening executive presence.

When a leader accepts that change is not a sign of weakness, but of strength and adaptive intelligence, they take a crucial step toward more connected and effective leadership. By integrating the skills of a Leader Coach, they become capable of creating an environment where innovation, learning, and collaboration thrive, taking their team — and their organization — to new heights of success.

6. THE TEMPTATION TO BE “PERFECT”: THE QUEST FOR EXCELLENCE AT THE COST OF ONE’S HUMANITY

Finally, I cannot leave out one of the major issues I often encounter in corporate environments: the illusion that a leader must be perfect. This is one of the most insidious and corrosive traps in leadership development. The concept of perfection is fueled by both external expectations (such as those from superiors or teams) and internal pressures, stemming from the self-imposed need to meet an often unattainable ideal. The paradox, however, lies in the fact that while the pursuit of perfection may initially seem like a form of excellence, it often results in an overwhelming emotional and psychological burden. Over time, this burden can lead to burnout, decision-making paralysis, and ultimately, a disconnection from one’s own team.

However, true leadership is not defined by the absence of flaws, but by the courage to face those flaws, learn from them, and ultimately, humanize oneself. In this context, overcoming the idea of perfection emerges as a key to developing more authentic, resilient, and effective leadership.

Perfection as an Illusion and Reality as Potential

The paradigm shift in leadership is not a one-time event; it should be understood as an ongoing process of self-awareness, reflection, and adaptation. Letting go of the idea of perfection allows the leader to transcend the “unattainable ideal” and embrace the “achievable real.” This transition does not mean lowering standards of excellence, but rather redefining what is truly important for leadership effectiveness.

As behavioral psychology suggests, one of the biggest obstacles to personal and professional growth is the irrational belief that we must be perfect to be effective. Albert Ellis, in his Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), draws attention to this “demand for perfection,” noting that it is one of the main sources of human suffering. The obsessive search for this ideal is often reinforced by cognitive biases, such as the negativity bias, where leaders tend to overvalue their mistakes and devalue their achievements.

The Self-Sabotaging Cycle of Perfection

What many leaders don’t realize is that this vicious cycle of destructive self-criticism, driven by the relentless pursuit of perfection, not only blocks innovation but also prevents genuine learning. When the leader constantly pressures themselves to “be flawless,” they become incapable of accepting their limitations and, as a result, fail to build an authentic relationship with their team.

Here, CBD plays a disruptive role. By working with leaders to deconstruct these beliefs, CBD helps them realize that failures are not something to be avoided or feared, but natural and necessary elements for continuous growth. By cultivating an environment where mistakes are seen as part of the learning process, the leader frees themselves from the need to be perfect, becoming more accessible, flexible, and collaborative.

Excellence Instead of Perfection

For executive presence, it is crucial to be clear that instead of chasing perfection, leadership should focus on practical excellence: the ability to be effective, empathetic, and resilient, even in the face of failures and limitations. Excellence is not about avoiding mistakes, but about acting with purpose, authenticity, and intentionality. This is the essence of what it means to be an inspirational leader — someone who recognizes that, while aspiring to excellence, it is vulnerability and imperfection that make them truly human and capable of connecting with others.

“Vulnerability is not weakness. It is the most accurate measure of courage.” – Brené Brown

This understanding, which challenges the traditional view of leadership as a construction of perfection and control, opens space for a more authentic and profound leadership. True leadership lies in being able to show vulnerability, admit mistakes, and learn from them, creating a space where others can also grow, express themselves, and contribute without the fear of making mistakes.

How to Break the Self-Sabotage Cycle

From a neuroscientific perspective, the obsessive pursuit of perfection activates the amygdala, altering emotion and generating stress, particularly the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. This constant state of alertness undermines not only the mental clarity necessary for effective leadership, but also the emotional and physical health of the leader. The brain, overloaded by this constant search, loses the ability to focus on what truly matters: adaptation and innovation.

On the other hand, the practice of self-acceptance, as promoted by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), activates brain areas associated with calm and creativity, stimulating cognitive flexibility. This flexibility is essential for making effective decisions in complex and ever-changing contexts.

In CBD-focused leadership, creating a safe space for the leader to accept their imperfections without compromising their personal confidence is a vital step in breaking the self-sabotage cycle. Acceptance of failure is not synonymous with resignation but is an entry point to act in alignment with the leader’s deepest values.

Transforming Perfection into Purpose

“Great leaders are not those who have all the answers, but those who create an environment where answers can be found.” – Simon Sinek

The great lesson here is simple but essential: perfection is an illusion, while purpose is the foundation of true leadership. When leaders let go of the need to appear flawless, they create space to grow, learn, and lead with greater clarity and intention. Instead of getting lost in an unattainable ideal, they focus on a continuous commitment to evolution — both personal and professional.

A leader’s journey is not about reaching the idealized perfection, but about the willingness to commit to constant and conscious evolution. This approach not only frees the leader from unrealistic expectations but also creates a genuine impact on their teams and organizations, promoting a cycle of sustainable and collaborative growth.

Ultimately, the idea that a leader must be perfect is a trap that leads to isolation and burnout. The CBD should help the leader realize that true excellence doesn’t come from the pursuit of perfection, but from the ability to learn, adapt, and evolve with challenges.

COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL DEVELOPMENT (CBD) AS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION

As we navigate the complexities of developing a true Leader Coach through leadership skills, it’s essential to understand that CBD is not a destination but an ongoing journey of improvement. True evolution does not happen through shortcuts; it requires commitment, self-reflection, and the courage to face limitations, while building solid foundations for genuine growth.

In this context, one of the most transformative elements in the process is the strengthening of executive presence. This skill goes beyond effective communication or a confident posture: it’s about aligning authenticity, clarity, and impact in every interaction. A robust executive presence not only elevates the individual leader but also creates an environment of respect, trust, and collective inspiration.

When we engage in a process grounded in cognitive-behavioral development, we are guided toward more conscious, authentic, and adaptable leadership, where executive presence becomes a hallmark. It’s a process of continuous learning, where each challenge is an opportunity to reinforce not only the strategic vision but also the ability to influence and connect at all levels.

Now, I invite you to reflect on your own leadership journey. What traps have you faced? How have you enhanced your executive presence? Share your stories and insights in the comments. Let’s continue this conversation, expand possibilities, and inspire each other. After all, true leadership begins with the courage to transform — and to leave a mark that resonates.

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Hello, I’m Marcello de Souza! My journey began in 1997 as a leader and manager at a large IT and Telecom company. Since then, I have led significant network structuring and optimization projects in Brazil. Driven by a curiosity and passion for behavioral and social psychology, I delved into the fascinating world of the human mind in 2008.
Today, I am a professional dedicated to uncovering the secrets of human behavior and driving positive change in individuals and organizations. With a Ph.D. in Social Psychology and over 27 years of experience in Cognitive Behavioral and Organizational Human Development, my career spans various areas:

• As a Senior Master Coach & Trainer, I help my clients achieve personal and professional goals, generating extraordinary results.
• As a Chief Happiness Officer (CHO), I cultivate an organizational culture of happiness and well-being, enhancing productivity and team engagement.
• As an Expert in Language & Behavioral Development, I refine communication and self-awareness skills, empowering individuals to face challenges with resilience.
• As a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, I use advanced techniques to overcome obstacles and promote a balanced mind.
• As a Speaker, Professor, Writer, and Researcher, I share valuable insights at events, trainings, and publications, inspiring positive change.
• As a Consultant & Mentor, my experience in leadership and project management allows me to identify growth opportunities and propose personalized strategies.

My strong academic background includes four postgraduate degrees and a Ph.D. in Social Psychology, as well as international certifications in Management, Leadership, and Cognitive Behavioral Development. I am a co-author of the book “The Secret of Coaching” and the author of “The Map Is Not the Territory, the Territory Is You” and “The Diet Society” (the first of a trilogy on contemporary human behavior – 09/2023).
Allow me to be your partner on this journey of self-discovery and success. Together, we will uncover a universe of behavioral possibilities and achieve extraordinary results. I invite you to be part of my network! As a lover of behavioral psychology, social psychology, and neuroscience, I have created a YouTube channel to share my passion for cognitive behavioral development.
All data and content in this article or video are exclusive, based on philosophical concepts and proven scientific studies, to ensure the best content for you.
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