THE POWER OF THE VOICES THAT DWELL IN OUR MIND

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever wondered what truly defines our journey and evolution? We live in a world of constant external stimuli, where the frenetic pace of life often prevents us from pausing and reflecting. We are frequently immersed in the demands of daily life, the expectations the world projects onto us, and the external forces that seem to shape our decisions. However, there is a hidden paradox that escapes us: while everything around us seems to determine the course of our life, it is, in fact, what resides within us that has the power to radically transform our reality.

The reflection proposed by Ralph Waldo Emerson, when he asserts that “what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us,” invites us to a true internal revolution. Emerson challenges us to look within and ask: what are we cultivating inside ourselves? How do our inner forces — our beliefs, emotions, and, especially, the voice echoing in our mind — impact the way we respond to the world?

For example, how many times have you caught yourself postponing an important decision for fear of failing? Or feeling incapable of completing a task because you think it isn’t perfect enough? With each step, we are in constant dialogue with ourselves. This dialogue, sometimes silent, sometimes ruminating, can be our greatest strength or our biggest limitation. The question is: are we listening to the voice that drives us towards growth, or the one that traps us in fear and doubt? As we embark on this journey of self-awareness, the invitation I extend is to confront this inner voice, understand its impact, and transform it into a powerful tool for evolution. For if there is anything capable of changing the world we create, it is the way we choose to engage with our own mind.

The Voice that Builds and the Voice that Destroys

The inner voice is an incessant presence, one that does not silence itself. Research indicates that it occupies one-third to half of our waking time, reflecting our experiences and emotions. However, its nature is not always welcoming. Frequently, it adopts a critical and pessimistic tone, feeding on past failures or projecting disastrous scenarios for the future. When it criticizes or limits us, the brain regions associated with stress and anxiety are activated, amplifying the impact of these thoughts profoundly.

If we could transcribe this internal monologue, we would find a continuous flow of words — which can reach an impressive 4,000 words per minute, according to psychological studies. However, the crucial issue is not the volume of words, but the direction to which they lead us: do they propel us into action, or paralyze us? Do they serve as mentors or as ruthless judges of our choices and actions?

Our inner voice can establish a reinforcing cycle, which does not necessarily need to be negative. On the contrary, it can be a powerful ally for personal growth. When we choose to nurture thoughts of self-compassion, courage, and optimism, this same voice becomes a constructive force, driving us to act in alignment with our values and goals. It can guide us to a place of self-confidence, where adversities are no longer seen as threats, but as opportunities for learning and evolution. The secret lies in learning to direct this voice, replacing destructive criticisms with encouraging incentives, thus creating a virtuous cycle that fuels our motivation and strengthens our resilience.

Imagine yourself about to present an important project. What would the impact be if you said to yourself: “I am prepared. I can do this,” instead of succumbing to a spiral of destructive thoughts like: “What if I fail?” or “Will everyone notice my insecurity?” The essence of this reflection is: the quality of your inner voice not only impacts your performance but also profoundly influences your emotional health.

From Chatter to Wisdom: Reeducating the Inner Voice

Neuroscience also helps us better understand ourselves when we explore the mysteries of our mind, revealing something fascinating: the brain is not a fixed structure, but a dynamic mesh, shaped by experience and repetition. Brain plasticity, a central concept in this field, explains this capacity for transformation. With each new experience, our brain forms new neural connections, reconfiguring previously established pathways.

This means that by transforming the inner voice that limits us — changing the way we relate to our own thoughts and emotions — we are, in fact, physically altering the structure of our brain. Like mental muscles, the more we train the ability to listen to the voice of growth, the stronger it becomes. The connections that sustain doubt, fear, and self-criticism, in turn, weaken. This capacity for transformation not only allows us to change perspective but also rewrite our neural biography, creating a solid foundation for continuous growth.

A simple but powerful method to facilitate this transformation is to create distance between what we think and what we say to ourselves. When facing a difficulty, ask yourself: “What would I say to a good friend in this same situation?”

For example, imagine a leader who, after an important presentation, keeps mentally re-evaluating every word said, wondering if they were clear enough, if the results were as expected. This excessive self-criticism undermines their confidence and hinders their ability to move forward, feeding beliefs that impact their self-esteem and the effectiveness of their future actions. Notice here the importance of self-compassion! Instead of condemning yourself, imagine treating yourself with the same care and understanding you would offer a dear friend. This not only alleviates the emotional burden but activates brain systems associated with stress relief, creating a positive cycle. Thus, the mind calms down, and at the same time, you strengthen your resilience.

Now, imagine an executive about to conduct an important negotiation. Instead of feeling confident in their preparation, they start questioning whether they are sufficiently prepared, if others will notice their insecurities, or if their proposal will be well-received. This constant doubt alters their emotional state, undermining their decision-making ability, affecting their posture, and even influencing the results negatively. To transform this cycle, they could begin asking themselves: “What would I say to a good friend in a similar situation?” The answer would be something like: “You’ve prepared, you have experience, and you have the ability to handle any unexpected challenges.” In this way, by adopting a perspective of self-compassion, they break the cycle of insecurity, reconnecting with their inner confidence.

In summary, by practicing healthy detachment between thought and self-criticism, and by treating ourselves with the same empathy and compassion we offer to others, we are not only reconfiguring our internal relationship but also creating new emotional possibilities for our actions and decisions. The reconfiguration of our neural connections strengthens our capacity for resilience, emotional intelligence, and leadership. We are the architects of our brain, and by re-educating our inner voice, we can rewrite our story.

Temporality and Connection to the Present

Although the importance of living in the present is widely discussed, our brain, designed for survival, constantly pulls us toward the past or the future. This phenomenon, essential for learning and adaptation, can, however, prevent us from fully experiencing the “here and now.” The true quality of our life depends on how we deal with this incessant flow of thoughts, shifting between what has already been and what is yet to come.

In this sense, the inner voice, often uncontrolled and relentless, is not only a reflection of the mind but one of the pillars of our mental health. When dominated by criticism or apprehension of failure, this voice can obscure our perception of who we truly are. A classic example is that of Jill Taylor, a neuroanatomist who lost the ability to hear her inner voice after a stroke. Her case exemplifies how this voice is essential to our existential continuity and sense of belonging. Taylor teaches us that our inner voice is not just a reaction, but an anchor that connects us to our story and to the world.

Therefore, improving our life requires the transformation of this constant mental monologue. In times of crisis or stress, it is essential to cultivate an internal conversation of support, like a “personal coach,” encouraging us to move forward with courage. When we allow ourselves to be dominated by fear or doubt, our self-perception tends to become distorted, creating a cycle of self-sabotage. However, by responding to this voice with compassion and objectivity, we can regain our clarity and resilience. In other words, just as our mind is constantly talking to us, we can also choose to interact with it constructively, transforming this process into an internal dialogue that guides us and anchors us in the present moment, warding off anxiety about the future and rumination about the past. Yes, true mental dialogue only occurs when we are actually living in the present.

Thus, another effective tactic to improve this dialogue is to create a healthy distance between ourselves and the words we use to speak to ourselves. Instead of saying “I am incapable,” we can refer to ourselves by name or use the second person: “You can do this.” While simple, this shift interrupts the rumination cycle and opens space for more constructive responses.

Furthermore, we can take on the role of being our own mentors. In moments of difficulty, we have the ability to guide ourselves, drawing from our collection of experiences and knowledge for the necessary guidance. Often, the situations we face are a continuation of past experiences, which enables us to apply past learnings to overcome present challenges.

Milton Erickson reminds us that every problem carries within it a solution. I want you to reflect on the deep meaning of this statement, because what Erickson reveals to us is that we can only understand something if, within ourselves, there is something that allows such understanding. For human beings, nothing arises from emptiness; everything is the result of a continuous process of construction. Thus, when we identify a problem, it happens because we possess the necessary knowledge to recognize that there are various ways to approach the issue more appropriately. It is not about having all the answers, but about the ability to ask the right questions that bring us closer to the solution.

Therefore, even in the most complex and challenging situations, the mere fact of recognizing that there is a problem or that something can be improved is reason enough for us to cultivate self-respect, patience, and understanding. Yes, we must continuously cultivate this self-respect, even when the answers are not immediate. In this sense, vulnerability, often seen as weakness, is actually a space of courage. It is not about winning or losing, but about the courage to expose ourselves and confront our limitations, acknowledging that the outcome is beyond our control. In moments of vulnerability, our true strength lies in the ability to allow ourselves to be humanly imperfect. Through it, we can break our pride and deal with our ego, asking for help to handle what is beyond our strength, embracing our humanity in a genuine way.

In addition to respecting oneself, it is crucial to expand our perspective to avoid falling into the trap of limiting thought cycles, which are one of the main pitfalls of the internal monologue. When we excessively focus on an immediate problem, our perspective narrows, and we find ourselves trapped in a timeless mental loop. At this moment, recalling past experiences of overcoming or observing how people we admire have faced adversity can help broaden our field of vision in the present. This exercise of reflecting on the resilience of others and ourselves allows us to see the situation more clearly and gives us a sense of belonging to a larger narrative — one where we are not alone, nor doomed to a single outcome.

You can still transform challenges into opportunities for growth, and this is also a powerful strategy. Instead of seeing difficulty as a threat, we can view it as fertile ground for personal development. This shift in perspective strengthens not only our inner dialogue but also our ability to face adversity with courage.

Consider an executive who delays a difficult conversation with an employee for fear of failure. This fear creates a cycle of procrastination, increasing anxiety and making the situation even harder to resolve. In this moment, the executive can benefit from the strategies mentioned.

For example, he can create a healthy distance between thought and action by reframing his perception of the situation. Instead of seeing himself as “incapable,” he can tell himself, “You have the ability to lead this conversation, and it is crucial for the team’s growth. You have demonstrated this skill on other occasions.”

Another effective way to improve our internal dialogue when facing a challenge is to train our minds not to get lost in the magnitude of the task ahead, which can generate anxiety, blockages, and procrastination. Instead, we can guide it to deal with these obstacles more effectively by breaking the problem down into smaller parts and addressing them one at a time. Rather than looking at the challenge as a whole, we can instruct our minds to focus on specific aspects and define the degree of urgency and importance, strategically transforming the task into a set of steps that are easier to manage and resolve.

Imagine someone who has a book in mind, full of ideas and concepts, but finds it very difficult to put those thoughts on paper. The magnitude of the project seems enormous and insurmountable, which leads to a creative block. The feeling of “not knowing where to start” can quickly lead to frustration and procrastination.

To overcome this block, the writer can break the task of writing a book into smaller, more specific steps. Instead of trying to write the entire book at once, they can start with a simple chapter idea or even a single page, focusing on a specific area of the narrative.

The writer might initially choose to write the introduction or the first chapter, without the pressure of having to create a masterpiece immediately. They can outline a simple draft of their main points, tackling one theme at a time. The goal here is to free themselves from the expectation of perfection and allow the creative process to unfold naturally.

For each writing session, the author can set small, achievable goals, such as writing 1,000 words a day or completing a section of a chapter. These goals, small enough not to overwhelm the mind, also provide a sense of constant progress. Furthermore, by choosing to write without worrying about immediate revision, they allow the creative flow to occur without the restraints of self-censorship.

Over time, the writing accumulates. As the writer progresses, they can revise and adjust the text, but without the pressure of needing to do everything at once. The process of breaking the task down into smaller parts and achieving small daily wins helps reduce anxiety, increases confidence, and facilitates overcoming mental blocks. Gradually, what seemed like an unattainable project becomes a concrete work, transforming a big idea into a completed book.

Alternatively, through an internal dialogue, they could close their eyes and, in an instructive conversation with themselves, visualize what, for example, the interview in a selection process would be like. By doing so, they begin to mentally create a script of how they would like to behave, what answers they would like to give, and how to express themselves confidently and authentically. Their mind, by focusing on this visualization, starts to structure the most effective approach to the situation, and the more this exercise is repeated, the more natural and fluid the response becomes.

This visualization process not only reduces anxiety but also transforms the way they perceive themselves in the face of the challenge, distancing them from negative self-criticism. By projecting a positive scenario, they create a more balanced and rational mental space, where action becomes clearer and confidence grows. Regular practice of this technique strengthens their ability to face difficult situations with greater serenity and control.

Or one could also act as their own mentor, and this is also a powerful strategy. Imagine what you would say to an employee facing a similar situation, such as a difficult performance review. “I would say that honesty, clarity, and empathy are essential,” right? This emotional distancing helps reduce the influence of fear, allowing the approach to be more rational and objective. By looking at the situation from the outside, it is possible to see more clearly the best strategies to be adopted.

In addition, recalling past moments of success or observing how other leaders handled similar challenges can serve as an emotional foundation. This process of retrieving positive experiences helps to ease emotional pressure, promoting a more solution-focused attitude. By shifting the focus from anxiety to resolution possibilities, the mind aligns to act with greater confidence, without getting lost in the fear of failure.

As I’ve said before, it’s crucial that all of this is practiced alongside self-compassion, because this is essential. No matter the situation, even if you recognize your insecurities, the important thing is not to be a hostage to emotions and beliefs and to paralyze yourself by them; for this, offer yourself the same understanding you would offer another person. This act of compassion reduces emotional tension and prepares the mind for a more balanced approach.

Finally, to reduce the intensity of the internal dialogue, psychologist Ethan Kross suggests the practice of writing. Spending a few minutes for at least three consecutive days to write down thoughts and feelings helps organize the mind and reduce stress. The form doesn’t matter; the important thing is the process of externalizing the thought and freeing the mind from rumination.

Finally, having a “lucky charm” or a symbol of security may seem superstitious, but creating a positive expectation can relieve tension and increase confidence. This practice helps reconfigure the mind, providing more courage to face challenges.

Building a solid and resilient identity involves reconciling with our inner dialogue. By learning to live in the present, we elevate the internal chatter to a genuine dialogue, based on empathy, objectivity, and self-respect. By doing this, we not only transform our emotional responses but also the way we relate to the world. True identity is not just in what we were or what we will be, but in how we choose to converse with ourselves, treating ourselves with the respect and care we deserve.

Building the World: The Power of Conscious Choice

“If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself.” — Mahatma Gandhi

This famous quote from Gandhi, already explored in many ways, carries a depth that goes beyond changing external actions. Here, I want to expand this concept to include the power of the internal voices that inhabit our minds and govern our behavior. It’s not just about a change in visible attitudes but, essentially, the silent transformation that occurs in the deepest layers of our psyche. The world around us, with its complexities and challenges, is a direct reflection of these internal voices. As Ethan Kross suggests, our mind is a terrain where the voices of fear, doubt, or self-criticism can dominate, shaping our reality in often limiting ways. However, there is a greater power that lies in our ability to choose which voice we want to listen to.

The world is not an external and immutable entity; it largely reflects what we are internally, what we believe is possible, the words we choose to internalize, and the voices we decide to follow. Each thought, each word, is a seed planted in the fertile soil of our perception, germinating and manifesting in our actions and the reality around us. When we begin to look inward and become aware of the influence of these internal voices, we realize that, at every moment, we are creating the world we inhabit. If these voices are dominated by doubt and fear, our reality will be restricted and limited by those same forces. But if we choose to listen to the voices of confidence, compassion, and courage, our life transforms, expanding possibilities and opening new doors.

True change, then, is not only in the actions we take in the external world, but in the conscious choice of the internal voices we allow to guide our decisions. Often, the voice of fear or self-criticism is so predominant that we hardly notice its impact on the reality we are creating. These voices can lead us to avoid growth opportunities or to react impulsively, perpetuating cycles of suffering. However, by deliberately choosing to build a dialogue and begin listening to a more compassionate and wise voice, we start to create a reality more aligned with our deepest values.

This process is not simple. It involves confronting our inner shadows—the fears, insecurities, and guilt—and the responsibility of integrating them constructively. Recognizing that with this dialogue it is possible to hear these voices, welcome them, and at the same time choose those that elevate us, is an invitation to self-knowledge and the rewriting of our personal narrative. When we understand that we have the power to decide which conversation we want to follow, we release a transformative potential capable of reconfiguring the reality in which we live.

The reflection proposed by Gandhi on internal change calls us to reexamine the voices that inhabit our mind and how they determine the world we project. True change begins not in the external world, but in the silent transformation of our own consciousness. If we are the architects of our lives, we are also responsible for the reality we create. Therefore, genuine change begins with the deliberate choice of the voices we decide to let guide the construction of the world we wish to inhabit.

By becoming aware of this internal choice, we can rewrite our personal story and, with it, change the way we interact with the internal world to the external world. Understanding that each thought is a choice and that we can shape it to create the reality we aspire to opens a profound path of transformation—not only for ourselves but for the world we share.

The Connection Between the Internal and External Worlds
If you’ve reached this point, then you’ve understood that true change begins with a deep awareness of our attitudes, thoughts, and emotions. How do we treat ourselves in the chatter of the mind, and how do we relate to the world around us? In such a challenging context, reflecting on our presence in daily choices becomes essential. It’s not enough to wish for a more just, ethical, or compassionate world—we need to evaluate whether we are truly embodying these values in our actions.

Just as the pursuit of perfection often leads us to hide our weaknesses and shadows, as Carl Jung wisely said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” Rejecting or ignoring parts of ourselves can result in the creation of a reality that perpetuates these shadows. The true power lies in looking at these aspects with compassion and responsibility, understanding that they do not define us but can be transformed into sources of growth and wisdom when integrated.

Conscious Choice and Transformation

As we gain clarity about our ability to shape reality, we realize the impact of the choices we make, even in the simplest actions. Every gesture, no matter how small, carries the potential for significant transformation. Choosing compassion, empathy, and ethics in our daily lives redefines the reality we live in, but this process is filled with internal challenges.

We are complex beings, influenced by a mixture of forces—our desires, limiting beliefs, fears, and aspirations. True transformation requires us to face these forces, recognizing our vulnerability and wisely choosing which aspects we want to nurture. Courage is necessary: courage to confront our shadows, to transform our weaknesses into sources of strength, and to build a more just world, starting with the way we relate to ourselves and others.

In the end, what truly differentiates us is not what happens to us but what we do with the situations we face. Each intimate dialogue, thought, word, and action becomes an expression of what we are creating, both within us and in the world. By reflecting on our choices and their repercussions, we can begin to build a more authentic reality, where the internal and external worlds coexist in harmony.

Finally,

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’ve understood that, by working to transform our inner voice, we are not only enhancing our individual journey. In fact, we are contributing to a collective movement. Every small adjustment we make in our way of thinking and acting reverberates around us, positively impacting relationships, organizational culture, society, and ultimately, the world.

Therefore, more than ever, we need to cultivate the awareness of an inner dialogue. It not only defines our personal growth but also the impact we can have on the world. It is time to act in a transformative way, and this transformation begins with the dialogue we have with ourselves.

“Within each of us resides a pulsating universe, where fragility and strength coexist. The conscious cultivation of the inner dialogue transforms our doubts into courage and our challenges into extraordinary achievements.” — Marcello de Souza

When we choose to cultivate this inner dialogue that drives us toward growth, instead of one that limits us in fear and doubt, we are not only changing our personal story. We are planting the seeds for a more compassionate, resilient, and human future. Transformation is not a solitary process; it grows and expands in collectivity. The way you speak to yourself, the way you treat yourself, can inspire others to do the same. Thus, we create a network of transformation, where small individual steps add up to great social advances.

Therefore, change begins now. It begins with the choice to act, with the courage to be your voice of growth, and with the dedication to transform each challenge into an opportunity for evolution. Do not underestimate the impact of your actions. When you transform your mind, you also transform the world around you. The future you desire begins with the dialogue you have with yourself today.

After all, transforming the world inevitably begins within our own interior. But this journey is neither easy nor simple. It requires courage to look within, confront our shadows, and intentionally cultivate the qualities we want to see reflected in the world. We need to be honest with ourselves, question our actions, words, and ethics. We must ask ourselves: “How am I living my life? What values have I been cultivating? What kind of world am I creating?”

How is your inner conversation today? Do you treat yourself with the same empathy you would offer a dear friend? What words echo in your mind when the world seems to crumble? The simple act of observing these words and asking: “Is this conversation strengthening me or limiting me?” could be the turning point.

The fact is: if we truly want to create a better, more joyful, more ethical, and just world for ourselves, we need to start with our own transformation. There is no other way, is there?

Leave your experience with the inner voice in the comments and share your perceptions. And remember: if this approach resonated with you, I’m here to help you explore the paths of self-development.

#marcellodesouza #marcellodesouzaoficial #coachingevoce #desenvolvimentohumano #desenvolvimentocomportamental

Source of Inspiration: In her work, Pilar Jericó, coordinator of the Happiness Lab blog at EL PAÍS, proposes an essential concept for cultivating a healthier mind: “Speak to yourself as you would to a friend.” This simple shift in perspective—treating yourself with the same empathy and care we offer others—can profoundly transform the way we face ourselves. Read more about this concept at:

https://brasil.elpais.com/eps/2021-07-23/fale-consigo-mesmo-como-faria-com-um-amigo.html#?rel=listaapoyo