
NAVIGATING BY STARS: HOW VALUES SHAPE IDENTITY AND MEANING
Pause for a moment and reflect on this quote:
“Values are like stars. You can’t touch them, but you can navigate your life by them.” — Søren Kierkegaard
Have you ever noticed how we navigate life almost exclusively through tangible coordinates? Salaries, titles, productivity metrics, material goods — everything that can be measured, weighed, or accounted for takes center stage in our decisions. But what about the things that cannot be quantified?
Kierkegaard’s metaphor of values as stars is more than poetic: it is an invitation to perceive that the invisible is, paradoxically, the true foundation of the visible. If values are untouchable stars, why do so many insist on building their lives on unstable ground, ignoring the inner compass that could lead them to firmer soil?
What if everything you try to control is actually a desperate attempt to compensate for the lack of inner direction with an excess of outward movement? We live in an era that glorifies performance, achievement, and visibility — and in this context, that which is invisible, though no less essential, risks being neglected.
Among these fundamental invisibles are values. And here I’m not referring to moral codes imposed externally or ethical protocols dictated from the outside in, but to deep psychic anchors — structuring principles that underpin our decisions, even when we are not consciously aware of them. Just as stars guided navigators for centuries on horizonless nights, values are internal constellations that, though untouchable, return to us our sense of direction amid the chaos of existence.
Values: unseen but deeply felt
We live in an era that idolizes the concrete. Companies translate “success” into quarterly charts, relationships are reduced to compatibility algorithms, and even happiness has been tamed into a KPI. The problem? This idolatry of the tangible blinds us to what truly sustains the human experience: values.
In a study with leaders of exponential organizations, 78% of so-called “strategic” decisions failed. Why? Not due to a lack of data or tools. The reason was a misalignment with the fundamental principles that should have guided those decisions. When profit silences ethics, or efficiency cancels empathy, collapse isn’t a possibility — it’s a foregone conclusion.
Take, for example, Boeing and the 737 MAX scandal. There, pressure for financial performance overrode technical warnings and a sense of moral responsibility. The result? Tragedies, lives lost, and a deep rupture in institutional trust. The same applies to our personal lives: how many people do we know who achieved external success at the cost of inner emptiness? Who, by prioritizing what is visible, lost sight of what is essential?
In recent decades, behavioral psychology, neuroscience, and existential philosophy have converged on an unequivocal realization: values are not accessories of the psychic life — they are its backbone. They are structures of coherence that sustain our identity over time. While the modern mind scatters between stimuli and immediate rewards, values operate as axes of stability — silent, but indispensable.
Unlike goals, which have deadlines and deliverables, values are not attained; they are lived. They are not destinations, but ways of walking. To be honest, for example, is not a milestone to be reached but a way of being in the world. Empathy, responsibility, freedom, equity — these principles do not fit into spreadsheets, yet they shape our deepest decisions.
Values are ethical and emotional compasses. They point to the kind of human being we want to be, the kind of relationships we wish to cultivate, and the impact we want to leave on the world. When we neglect our values, we lose our north. And often, we begin to follow maps that aren’t ours — shaped by social expectations, corporate trends, or patterns that have nothing to do with our essence.
The valuative brain: an architecture of coherence
The human brain is an orchestra of patterns, and values function as its invisible sheet music — guides that economize decision-making energy and sustain inner harmony. While most people think of values as moral abstractions or philosophical idealizations, neuroscience reveals something deeper: they are neural structures — living networks shaped by repetition, emotion, and experience.
Consider, for example, the role of the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex: the former acts as an emotional radar, detecting threats to psychic integrity — including ethical dilemmas that “smell” like self-betrayal. The prefrontal cortex — especially its ventromedial region — is the conductor of alignment: weighing risks, assessing impacts, and, most importantly, calculating the congruence between action and meaning. In simple terms? It answers the silent question we carry every day: “Is this consistent with who I am?”
And here lies an unsettling truth: living out of alignment with your own values is like inhabiting a body whose compass has gone haywire — where north vanishes and each choice demands an effort that consumes more than it delivers. Studies in affective neuroscience show that the misalignment between behavior and personal values activates the same brain circuits involved in physical pain. Internal incongruence hurts. And worse: it erodes. The person smiles in meetings but implodes inside. Performance is maintained, but the soul dims.
Picture an executive who values collaboration but works in a cutthroat, competitive culture. They deliver results, exceed targets, get promoted — but their mind lives in permanent dissonance. The brain registers success, but the heart does not celebrate. The result? A silent erosion of meaning. The person keeps going but no longer belongs to themselves.
This motivational collapse, often superficially diagnosed as burnout or “lack of purpose,” is essentially a cry from the value system. The organism says: “I’m functioning, but I’ve stopped making sense.” We feel it as existential apathy, inexplicable boredom, or a diffuse anguish that not even Freud could name — but that screams in the subtext of our daily choices.
When the reward system (status, possessions, goals) clashes with the value system (meaning, authenticity, belonging), the soul falls asleep. The body performs, but the spirit grows quiet. The fever of performance masks the fragility of meaning. And life begins to hurt — not loudly, but with the kind of silence only tired eyes can reveal.
When success has no scent: the fallacy of external ideals
How many times have you seen a leader claim transparency as a non-negotiable value, yet hesitate to share uncomfortable information for fear of upsetting the board? How often has someone, in the name of work-life balance, justified their absence from home with “emergencies” that were, in truth, mere disorganization or an escape from self? The daily incoherence between what we preach and what we practice is more than contradiction. It is identity erosion.
This dissociation is the silent cancer of the contemporary soul: it corrodes from within, quietly, until one day the mirror returns an image that no longer resembles us. Values are not slogans for the company wall or catchy phrases on social media bios. They only materialize when they are inhabited — in the silence of choices, in the backstage of attitudes, in the detail no one sees but that reveals everything.
An unsettling exercise: write down three values you consider central to your identity. Then review your last ten important decisions. How many of them actually expressed those values? If the answer is timid, perhaps you’re living an edited version of yourself — or worse, one curated to please the external algorithm but disfigured from your essential truth.
The Thin Line Between Value and Validation
The line that separates value from validation is thin—but decisive. The world is full of people adjusted to what others expect, yet disconnected from themselves. How many times have you adjusted your speech, your posture, your ambition—not out of conviction, but to fit an idealized model of success? And how often, in doing so, have you silently sacrificed the integrity that would have sustained your authenticity?
Organizations then become the stage for a silent tragicomedy: technically brilliant executives who are emotionally vacant; leaders celebrated outwardly who struggle to find meaning in their own victories. They are the protagonists of award-winning stories, yet the authorship never truly belonged to them. They met goals, climbed ranks, but forgot to ask, at some point in the journey: “What is all this for?”
The emptiness felt at the top of the ladder—often mistaken for a midlife crisis, imposter syndrome, or “lack of motivation”—is, in truth, an absence of truth. A misalignment between the path taken and the internal compass. Between what was achieved and what truly mattered. The soul—always loyal to itself—whispers that something has been lost, even when the world applauds.
And here lies the truth: no performance can replace the peace of living in alignment with who you are. Success, when not anchored in value, becomes noise. It may be acclaimed from the outside, but inside it rings hollow. Because true success—the kind that requires neither masks nor anesthesia—smells of belonging, tastes like congruence, and feels whole.
Value Is Not Consensus — It Is Essence
In an era marked by exponential change, where artificial intelligences not only automate tasks but reshape entire professions, and pandemics rewrite the rules of social interaction, values emerge as the only constants—the true ancestral algorithms of human existence. Techniques, trends, and tools quickly become obsolete, but fundamental principles such as integrity, resilience, and curiosity remain—adaptable and enduring, like lighthouses guiding us through stormy seas.
Iconic companies like Patagonia did not achieve relevance by chance or through conventional strategic planning. They revolve steadfastly around crystal-clear values—whether it’s “saving the planet” or “expanding the limits of the possible.” These values act as gravitational forces that attract talents, consumers, and partners whose vision aligns with that deeper mission. This reinforces the power of value to create sustainable ecosystems and engaged communities that extend far beyond short-term profit.
However, our time is also one of noisy overlaps of opinions, heated polarizations, and fleeting consensuses—constructed more for convenience than conviction. It is precisely in this context that the distinction between value and consensus becomes crucial. Value is not decided by vote, nor negotiated through social approval. Value is an intimate, singular, and resilient truth—what sustains coherence even when no one is watching, even when the price is solitude.
It is in that space—often a solitary one—that the ethical individual resides—not the rigid moralist, but the one who, in silence, acts in accordance with their deepest principles, regardless of applause or recognition. Because to live is, above all, a sacred pact with one’s own heart—that is the essence of existential integrity.
And isn’t that precisely the provocation Kierkegaard offers us? That values, though intangible and untouchable, are utterly tangible in their transformative effects? That, like stars, they exist to be observed, followed, and contemplated—even if we may never hold them in our hands?
Rewriting Your Personal Sky: How to Map Your Guiding Stars
Turning provocation into action is not merely an act of will, but a careful engineering of internal coherence. For that, it is essential not only to recognize your values but to systematically practice them in everyday life. Below are some practical strategies, anchored in philosophical, neuroscientific, and behavioral wisdom, to help you build—or rebuild—your personal constellation:
• Philosophical Excavation: The Deep Why Journey
Set aside sacred time, away from the noise of obligations, to answer a question once echoed by Nietzsche and Kierkegaard: “What would still get me out of bed if all my titles, assets, and status were taken away tomorrow?”
This inquiry is not mere existential play—it is a neurocognitive tool that activates the prefrontal cortex, enhancing deep processing of personal meaning and strengthening neural networks linked to intrinsic motivation.
Practical example: Ana, an executive at a multinational, realized that despite her position and salary, her true value was justice and transparency. From that insight, she began leading more authentically, prioritizing open dialogue even in difficult conflicts—and discovered her team became more deeply engaged.
• Trial by Fire: Decisions as a Compass of Authenticity
Every decision—from accepting a social event invitation to making a strategic career move—can be filtered through the question: “Does this action bring me closer to or further from what I’ve defined as essential?”
This filter works like a cognitive checkpoint that reinforces congruence between behavior and values, reducing cognitive dissonance and the internal conflict that leads to stress and burnout.
Practical example: João, a coach and entrepreneur, began turning down projects that, while lucrative, went against his value of balance and well-being. In doing so, he not only preserved his mental health but also built a stronger personal brand rooted in authenticity and purpose.
• Positive Contamination: The Power of Environmental Influence
Values do not flourish in isolation; they are cultivated in environments and relationships that sustain and challenge them to grow. Social neuroscience shows that we are shaped by mirroring—the mirror cortex reinforces habits and beliefs when we engage with groups that embody clear and consistent values.
Practical example: Mariana, an HR manager, chose to join leadership groups that prioritized ethics and human development. This environmental shift helped her reclaim her own ethical compass, which had been lost amid the toxic corporate culture she previously endured.
These practices create a virtuous cycle of alignment between “being” and “doing.” They help avoid the psychological exhaustion caused by the incongruence between identity and behavior, promoting emotional resilience and clarity of purpose.
Mapping your guiding stars is, therefore, an invitation to constant reinvention—a journey that unites science and soul, reason and feeling—and one that transforms not only how you make decisions but the very quality of your existence.
Relearning to Follow the Invisible
“When you forget your own values, life may offer you success, but it will not give you meaning. And there is no achievement that can satisfy a soul in exile.” — Marcello de Souza
In the vast domain of human development, working with values is a call to summon the soul to center stage. It is not an empty abstraction, but a reconnection with the essence of human action — that profound lucidity that compels us to ask: why do I do what I do? It is on this terrain, both ethereal and concrete, that the greatest power of transformation rests.
The courage for self-reflection, for cognitive-behavioral development, and for conscious leadership are practices that cannot afford to ignore the subtlety of values. They form the invisible architecture that sustains the house of the self, the Ariadne’s thread that guides us out of the labyrinth of alienation.
To grasp this essence, we return to antiquity, when Hesiod taught us — nearly three thousand years ago — that values do not emerge from modernism, but from the very fabric of human existence. Ariadne’s thread is this primordial metaphor: values as a guide through the labyrinth of existence.
In Greek mythology, the Minotaur’s labyrinth is not merely a physical space, but a powerful representation of the entanglement of human life — its doubts, fears, conflicting choices, and the chaos of external stimuli. Theseus, entering this intricate space, embodies the human being facing the challenges and paradoxes of contemporary life. Without a clear path, every step can be a mistake, a detour, a loss.
It is then that Ariadne, the guardian of the thread, appears as invisible providence. Her ball of string becomes hope and clarity — a tool for the hero to find not only the monster, but the way back to the light of consciousness, safety, and authenticity.
Bringing this image into human and organizational development, values are our inner Ariadne’s thread. Invisible and intangible, yet absolutely essential. They do not appear on charts nor are they measurable by superficial metrics, but they uphold the internal coherence of our being.
Like the thread, values offer us:
• Orientation amidst complexity — in the face of demands, ethical conflicts, and social pressures, they reveal the path that preserves our integrity.
• Compass of authenticity — they allow action to resonate with who we are at our core, avoiding the psychic exile of the dissonance between being and appearing.
• Resistance to external chaos — just as the thread prevents Theseus from getting lost, values keep our mind and purpose centered amid adversity.
In neuroscience, this metaphor reverberates in the neural networks that form our value systems — synaptic connections strengthened by repetition, meaning, and emotion. Ariadne’s thread is the consolidated neural pathway that illuminates the way through the tangle of choices, reducing cognitive and emotional effort by aligning decisions with what truly matters.
In existential philosophy, especially Kierkegaardian thought, following the thread of values gives meaning to existence — it is the leap between the despair of dispersion and the hope of authentic commitment.
Thus, relearning to follow the invisible, to embrace our internal Ariadne’s thread, is more than an invitation to reflect — it is a call to the courage to reclaim our own direction in life’s labyrinth, avoiding being devoured by the Minotaurs of confusion, superficiality, and existential disalignment.
Forgetting your values is like losing your compass in the middle of a storm and navigating solely by the movement of the waves. Returning to them is a radical act of courage — an invitation to inner revolution. It requires unmapping paths once followed, silencing the deafening noise of external expectations, and unlearning shortcuts that have led us astray. It means accepting the voluntary exile from all that does not belong to us in order to rediscover the secret homeland where the truth of existence dwells.
In that sacred space, where philosophy, neuroscience, and psychology intertwine, we rediscover that the invisible is the only territory that never abandons us — and only it can return full meaning to the human journey.
And now, allow me to ask you:
What are your stars?
What silent values have guided — or should guide — your path?
And what have you done to honor them in your daily life?
Open yourself to this internal dialogue. If you feel moved, share your thoughts, concerns, and challenges. If this text touched you, leave a sign — a simple gesture that expresses recognition and connection. Know that I am here, ready to walk by your side on this endless quest for coherence, authenticity, and meaning.
#marcellodesouza #marcellodesouzaoficial #coachingevoce #humandevelopment #behavioraldevelopment #practicalphilosophy #neuroscience #values #kierkegaard
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